How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
