last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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