I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
