is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Randomize
