Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
