no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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