we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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