I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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