i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
