the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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