do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
