I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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