I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
