I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
