I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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