kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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