We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize