Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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