So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
