wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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