also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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