Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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