We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
