hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
