hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I wish i was in the wii world.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
