We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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