My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
