I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
