I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
