I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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