Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
