careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
