I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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