If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
