whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My balls are so social today.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
