if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
