Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Randomize
