dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
