I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
