I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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