She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
