I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
