see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
