Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
zippers are such a cool invention
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
They are going to name an STD after you.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
