I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
