You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
