I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
