They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
