My sheets look like a crime scene.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
im holly from the hills drunk
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
