Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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