Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
