oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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